Over the course of my career as a Wineaux, I have hosted a lot of parties, and gone to a lot of parties. One of the things I love most about being a Wineaux, is that I get to come in contact with a lot of really great people. For the most part, hosts and guests alike are gracious and accommodating.
However… I have to talk about something that really irks me.
Growing up, one of the first things that my parents taught me was how to be a guest. There were just a few basic rules:
1. Never show up empty handed. If someone is gracious enough to open up their home to you, the very least you can do is to bring them a small token of thanks. When I was too small to do this for myself, my mother would usually send me with something homemade, like cookies or a jar of her homemade jam. As I got older, it was a trip to the wine store.
2. Always offer to help. It doesn't matter what they need help with. Your host may not need any help with anything, but you get major bonus points for asking.
3. If you're out somewhere, and you're hosted, always offer to help contribute to the bill. Never assume that you're going to be paid for. Again, your host will probably tell you no, but its always the right thing to do...
4. Dale Carnegie said it best: A compliment costs nothing, but means everything. If you are having a good time, say so. If the hosts home is decorated beautifully, or you just like a piece of their art, say so. If you aren't having a good time, say thanks anyway.
5. Send thanks- it could be a phone call or a card, but a recognition and thank you will mean a lot.
All that being said, I was at a Wineauxs event at someone's home, and we were all having a great time. All of the guests had brought a bottle of wine, as it tradition. There was a nice mix of veteran members and newbies, lots of great conversation, and the host put out a great spread of food. At the end of the night, people were starting to say their good byes and leave, and I saw a woman walk over to where all of the wine was, grab a bottle, and leave. I can only assume it was the bottle she brought, but still. It just really bothered me- the host had put out time and expense to open her home, feed all of us, and deal with cleaning up after, and this woman had the balls to take back her wine? RUDE. Anyway... I deleted her off the list. Am I wrong? Part of the deal with hosting is that you get to keep the leftover wine- whether it is opened or not. It off sets the cost of the food purchased, and is a nice thank you for hosting the event.
To me, it all comes out in the wash- if someone covers me when we're out, then I'll get them the next time. I don't worry about keeping score... its more about finding time to spend time with friends and having a good time.
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