http://www.upworthy.com/she-felt-him-reach-between-the-seats-and-grope-so-she-turned-on-her-camera-and-said-all-the-things?c=ufb1
I love Upworthy. That and TED talks are my new favorite thing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when people make me think. I came across this post the other day. If you didn't watch the video, it went a little something like this:
A young woman was on an airplane. She was minding her own business when she felt the man sitting behind her reach through the seat and GROPE her. Not once, but twice. Yup...it happened.
A young woman was on an airplane. She was minding her own business when she felt the man sitting behind her reach through the seat and GROPE her. Not once, but twice. Yup...it happened.
Now stop and think about this for a minute. Statistically, there are more than a few of us out there who, unfortunately, have been in some version of this situation. Sexual or verbal abuse, catcalling, essentially any unwanted or unwarranted solicitation or contact from another person, probably male. I am one of those people. Now think about how you reacted to it. Did you cry out? Did you retaliate? Were you afraid? Did you keep your mouth shut and just move on? I kept quiet. I was scared. I was at war with myself for YEARS about it. It devastated me, and formed the way I handle any uncomfortable situation: I avoid it. Result? I had no voice, and couldn't make myself heard. It has affected every relationship I've ever had, and something I struggle with daily.
This woman did something remarkable. She stood up, turned on the video on her smartphone, and gave him the what for. In front of everyone on the plane. Now... she was speaking mostly in Farsi, but added in enough English to get the point across. This man thought he could touch her and just go on about his day. No repercussions, no responsibility for his actions. Her presence was reason enough to think this was ok. His expectation was that she would just sit there and take it- pretend that it wasn't happening. But then she stood up for herself, told him it wasn't acceptable, that he's the one who should be ashamed, not her. Bravo.
"You decided the action, I will decide the reaction." It's a simple statement, but very powerful. Why should we sit by and let things happen? Is it in the name of not making waves? Embarrassment? Ridicule? Why is it that our society immediately blames women for the abuse visited on them? It's not our fault. The shame and embarrassment of the behavior should fall on the abuser, not the victim.
This is what we need to teach our children... girls, and boys.
This is what we need to teach our children... girls, and boys.
This woman was very lucky- she was in a public place, surrounded by people. In a different situation, things could have escalated. But she found her voice... and that is what this point is. We live in an age where we are not expected to accept personal responsibility. We can hide behind the internet and spout off about anything and everything without consequence. With a good lawyer and enough money and connections, you can get away with murder, literally. But I would like to think that we are also in a world where we can inspire each other and make each other stronger. I know this is a little heavy, but here's what I got from this: having a voice means finding your inner bitch (Thank you Linda Heeler!)- firing a client, expressing an opinion without fear or judgement, having the confidence in yourself and your life experience to pass it on and help others, wearing something that makes you feel sexy without worrying what message it might send, loving yourself and giving love to others, giving and earning respect.
I don't know this girls name- I will never meet her. If I could, I would give her a hug and thank her- she inspired me to continue to find my voice.
